the gar spot

fiction and musings from a gay black dude with delusions above his station

Menu
  • About
  • Privacy Policy
  • SIN AGAINST THE RACE, a novel
Menu
the gar spot fiction and musings from a gay black dude with delusions above his station

Juneteenth™️

Posted on June 20, 2021June 20, 2021 by gar

My agent got me a gig on a public service announcement about Juneteenth, a 30-second ad to recognize and celebrate the new national holiday. Who’s doing it, the government? I asked. After a pause, he answered Step Right Up, Inc., real quick, like at 80 MPH. When he talked fast, that meant he wanted to hurry up and get off the phone with me, which meant he didn’t want me asking too many questions. So, of course, I persisted.

You mean the parent company of BargainsGalore.com?

Yeah, yeah, he said. So I was like, why would SRU wanna do a spot about Juneteenth?

Look, I don’t know. Why would I know? It’s a gig, alright?

Without seeing him, I knew he was hella puffing on a cigar, which he claimed to have given up years ago.

Alright, I said, so what’s the part? He said I would play some character called BL, that it was crucial to the ad.

This could lead to all sort of possibilities, my friend. Don’t let this one pass you by. It’s a good one.

Oh, how many times had I heard that one.

So I went, an 8 am call, regular make up and hair, no wardrobe. Just wear your regular street clothes, they told me. They’d augment if necessary. So I wore my Vans, blue jeans, a grey T and my navy blue hoodie, cause it was slightly chilly for the time of year.

Not too many Black folks on set, as in just two, myself and the make-up artist, a sister named Davissa. She primped me up and I pumped her up for more info.

Only just added to the crew last night, she said, so she couldn’t tell me anything about BL and what I was supposed to do.

Didn’t they send you the script?

No.

Oh, she said, dabbing my face with her brush.

The initial email telling me what to wear, etc., said that the script would follow later. It didn’t. I asked her what she thought about the Juneteenth holiday. She gave me the eye, that look that Black folks made when they had a mouthful to say, but couldn’t because mixed company. Maybe we could catch up for coffee later, I thought, wishing to hear her thoughts on it.

As I walked out of make up, a white woman with frizzy red hair and dark rim glasses, clutching an iPad, rushed towards me.

You an extra or the BL? 

Uh, I’m here to play BL.

Oh, OK, good. Come on.

We dashed like running a marathon, me trying not to trip over any of the cables strewn around, she mad typing on her tablet.

 And you’re wearing a hoodie, she commented, still typing. Perfect. Come on.

Uh, excuse me, when do I get to see the script?

Didn’t you get the email?

No.

Well, we sent it yesterday.

I had wondered. Scripts arriving at midnight the night before a shoot was not an uncommon thing, especially for little gigs like this. Knowing this, I had my iPhone set to ping loudly for incoming emails. Of course all I got were ads, mostly from BargainsGalore.com. Once you buy something from them, they’ll send you 87 emails about all the other versions of the thing you bought. Like I needed 87 other brands of razors or underwear or whatever. But no script. As we dash across the set, I checked my spam folder, but still didn’t see an email from them. I told this to Dashing Red, who gave me an annoyed glance. She kept pounding on her tablet.

Wait here.

I took a seat next to one of the lights, started to look around. I began to wonder if I was on the wrong set. I saw wheeled stages for a kitchen full of the latest in home appliances. Another for a pimped out bathroom. Another for a backyard, with a hot tub, barbecue pit, and lounge chairs. Another for with a bedroom set. It just went on and on and on. 

A tall, bald-headed white dude pushed between me and the light, stepping on my foot. Before I could call him out, he started barking orders in a megaphone.

Right! Let’s do a dry run before the BL gets here, alright? 

A bell rang. It got real quiet.

ACTION!

A heavy bass backbeat started playing: Boom-Boom-BOOM! Boom-Boom-BOOM!

Then the sets started whirling around like amusement park rides. Each one took a turn in front of the spot light.

JUNETEENTH SALE!

JUNETEENTH SALE!

JUNETEENTH SALE!

DON’T MISS IT!

Appliance techs skated around on roller blades, up to the kitchen to connect a dishwasher. A gleeful housewife stood nearby, beaming.

Then the bedroom set came around. Installers entered doing somersaults. A mattress came down from out of nowhere. They reached up and guided it onto the bed, a beaming husband and wife looking joyfully at their new playpen. 

Then the dining room set came around. Acrobats started whirling in the air, flipping from trapeze to trapeze, catching each other. Cannons went off. Then this chandelier floated down, another happy het couple grinning from ear to ear over their latest purchase.

JUNETEENTH SALE! (Bargains Galore!)

JUNETEENTH SALE! (Look what’s in store!)

JUNETEENTH SALE! (The freedom to buy!)

DON’T MISS IT! (My oh my!)

My eyes popped and my mouth gaped as I stared at the biggest BargainGalore.com ad ever, even by their own gaudy standards. This outdid their last four Super Bowl ads.

What the hell does any of this have to do with Juneteenth? 

Everything froze. All eyes looked at me. I thought I had said that to myself, but I guess I said it aloud. Well, maybe a bit loud. OK, I was screaming at the top of my goddamn lungs. 

The Director yelled take five and walked over to me.

Who the hell are you?

I’m here to play BL?

Oh, you’re the BL? Ah, good, you’re wearing a hoodie. But that isn’t the line. Did they change the script?

Before I could tell him I didn’t have a copy of the script, he started yelling for someone to get him the latest version. My phone pinged. An email. The script. I guess somebody forgot to send it last night. Maybe Frizzy Redhead. I opened it and sure enough, my opening line was “What’s all this about?”

And I read more. 

“Juneteenth isn’t about new kitchen appliances or mattress sales. It is a celebration of freedom. When Abraham Lincoln issued the Emancipation Proclamation, African-Americans across the country rose up in celebration. They could remove their shackles and begin to enjoy the freedoms that this great country offered. The right to buy land. The right to own a business, or take a job of their choosing, not one imposed upon them. It may have taken two years for the message to reach everyone, communication being what it was before cellphones [SMILE], but when they got word, [RAISE VOICE DRAMATICALLY] they began holding jubilees all over this great nation of ours, with lots of good food, singing, and dancing. And when they did, they were the first generation of African-Americans to shout those sacred words: [HOLD HAND UP LIKE MLK] ‘Free at last! Free at last! Thank God almighty! We’re free at last!’”

“And that’s what Juneteenth is about” was my last line.

BL. The BL. At last I figured it out. I was the Black Linus, the one who came out to explain the “true meaning” of the holiday, like on “A Charlie Brown Christmas.” I was to feature in its sequel, “A Black Linus Juneteenth.”

As I stood there frozen, unable to move or think or anything, the director walked over to me. He said that my alteration fit, so it was a keeper. Then he turned around and spoke through his megaphone.

FORGET THE PINK PAGES, EVERYONE! WE GOT THIS. GET READY TO DO IT FOR REAL.

You ready? he asked me.

What should I tell him? That no, that wasn’t how it worked. That folks didn’t start holding cook-outs, eating watermelon and fried chicken. That folks in the 19th century found out the result of presidential elections fast enough, even without cellphones, and that slaveowners in Texas deliberately withheld the news of emancipation. That Reconstruction failed because the racists made sure it would fail, and then they donned white hoods and started hanging Black folks left right and center. That Black folks didn’t get 40 acres and a mule, but sharecropping and Jim Crow. That Woodrow Wilson set back the Black middle-class in DC by purging every Black person who worked in government, no matter how menial the job. That white folks in Tulsa destroyed Black Wall Street as a lesson to what happens to uppity Negroes. That white America wanted no part of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. until he was dead, buried, and gone, and then they could make him what they wanted, a tamed lion that performed tricks when needed. Do I tell him any of this shit?

You ready? he repeated.

Without thinking, I pulled the hood of my hoodie over my head. Is this how Black Linus does it, with a hoodie instead of a blanket, when he wants to hide from the world? 

© 2021, gar. All rights reserved.

2 thoughts on “Juneteenth™️”

  1. Tania Russell says:
    June 20, 2021 at 9:53 am

    I’m glad they hired Davissa because Tania wouldn’t have been on that set. LOLOLOLOLOL. Great lol story ???????? (Did you see when the band The Roots were Charlie Brown characters for a Black History Month thing and QuestLove was indeed Black Linus? ????)

    Reply
    1. gar says:
      June 20, 2021 at 9:58 am

      Thank you kindly, ma’am. I guess Davissa isn’t as on the ball. LOLOLOL. That Roots/Charlie Brown spoof sounds like a whole lot of fun. I’ll have to look for it. Thanks!

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

SIN AGAINST THE RACE, a novel–Click image for info

Sin Against the Race

Contact

  • email gar

Twitter

Follow @the_gar_spot

Instagram

garmcveyrussell

Waiting for a friend. #alameda #ferry #eastbayeve Waiting for a friend. 
#alameda #ferry #eastbayeveryday
"You must not leave. You have opened a door that m "You must not leave. You have opened a door that must not be allowed to close. I'm sure you have taken a lot of grief, or probably will for what you're doing. But you changed the face of television forever. You have created a character of dignity and grace and beauty and intelligence. Don't you see that you're not just a role model for little Black children? You're more important for people who DON'T look like us. For the first time, the world sees us as we should be seen, as equals, and intelligent people--as we SHOULD be. There will always be role models for Black children: you are a role model for everyone. Remember, you are not important there in spite of your color. You are important there BECAUSE of your color. This is what Gene Roddenberry has given us."
-Dr. King on why Uhura is so important and why Ms. Nichols should not leave the show

RIP Nichelle Nichols
#legend #startrek #nichellenichols #scifi #nasa #dance #music #mlk #blm
Repost from @juliettesjoy Posted @withregram • Repost from @juliettesjoy 

Posted @withregram • @juliettesjoy Reposted from @queernation3000 CLARIFICATION: “condoms do not fully protect against Monkeypox transmission”

Source: NBC News (Chicago) 🔗 in bio

At the beginning of the HIV/AIDs epidemic, a group of gay men came together to release a set of rated risky behaviors that would guide the community on how to continue to live their lives without fear, empowered by scientifically-backed knowledge. This morning, experts warned that that we have a limited window to close the spread of Monkeypox. Cases are doubling week over week, and infections are being reported in over 74 countries. Misinformation about the spread of this virus could significantly increase the spread and will most certainly increase the stigma and shame surrounding it. 

We’re thankful for various journalists (including those at NBC-Chicago) and medical professionals who have begun the process of rating certain activities on a scale of “whether you're at-risk of contracting the [monkeypox] virus”. We’ve put it into this graphic for easy sharing. The source for all of this information is linked in my bio.

There is still much more to do.  Individual health precautions without significant government action to increase vaccine production & deployment will not work. So please, stay safe, stay informed, and get vaccinated. More to come. 

If you want to help us add additional activities or replace ones based on new information, DM @queernation3000. You can also reach us at queernationfund@gmail.com. 

#monkeypox #monkeypoxvirus #vaccine #pox #lgbt #lbgtq #lesbian #gay #bi #bisexual #trans #transgender #queer #queernews
A typical view of the Golden Gate Bridge in #summe A typical view of the Golden Gate Bridge in #summer from #Sausalito. At a birthday party for friends. 
#coldestwintersummerinsanfrancisco
Trying something new. @understoryoakland #downto Trying something new. 
@understoryoakland 
#downtownoakland #restaurant #veganoptions #dinner
Working. #writersofinstagram #amwriting #amwriting Working.
#writersofinstagram #amwriting #amwritingfiction #tea #jazz #kcsm
Really should have gotten this outdoor furniture y Really should have gotten this outdoor furniture years ago. 
#lunch #alfresco #backyard
Think of all the potential. #wordsonthestreet #se Think of all the potential. 
#wordsonthestreet #seenwhilewalking #neighborhood #walk #oakland #ilovemycity
Pride brunch. #pride #pridemonth #pridesunday #pr Pride brunch. 
#pride #pridemonth #pridesunday #prideday #pancakes #brunch
Dug up from the archives. I can’t believe we hav Dug up from the archives. I can’t believe we have to fight for this again. 
#abortionrights #abortionishealthcare #cisgaymanforchoice
Time to write more letters to encourage people to Time to write more letters to encourage people to vote. Tempus fugit.
#abortionrights #abortionishealthcare #roevwade #mymarriageisnext #voteblue #voterepublicansout
Pride flag over the Claremont Hotel. Don’t think Pride flag over the Claremont Hotel. Don’t think I’ve ever seen that before. 
#pride #pridemonth #berkeley
New outdoor dining set. #backporch #alfresco #hom New outdoor dining set. 
#backporch #alfresco #homedecor
Consulted with my editors this morning. I value th Consulted with my editors this morning. I value their feedback. 
#trees #hiking #oakland #writersofinstagram #iputmyfaithintrees
Remembering Roger Ebert on what would have been hi Remembering Roger Ebert on what would have been his 80th birthday. 
#rogerebert #writer #legend #cancersucks
Fly me to the moon (not pictured) Let me play amon Fly me to the moon (not pictured)
Let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter (the brighter one) and Mars
#backyardastronomy #jupiter #mars #predawn #goodmorning
A gorgeous day at the #oaklandgreekfestival #oakla A gorgeous day at the #oaklandgreekfestival #oakland #greekfestival #greek #music #food #ilovemycity
I used to rock the hell out of these. Cards of dis I used to rock the hell out of these. Cards of discovery and endless possibilities. I still miss them. 
#cardcatalog #library #knowledge #og #searchengine
A sunny Saturday in 1990 found my sister Tania (@m A sunny Saturday in 1990 found my sister Tania (@makeuptogoblog) and I outside of the Julia Morgan Center waiting. I had seen the great Maestro Pt. Shivkumar Sharma in LA—he even autographed an album for me. And I was studying tabla with his accompanist Ud. Zakir Hussain at the time. We couldn’t wait. But wait we did, because the maestros weren’t there. As my sister and I stood at the front of the line, they came. Ud. Zakirji was laughing and joking. Pt. Shivji looked as if he floated in as he passed and entered the theater. After we got settled in our seats, it was on. A beautiful concert with the two maestros playing rapturously, holding us spellbound. Pt. Shivji floated in like a deity and played to the heavens, taking us all with him. By far one of my favorite concerts. 

Words cannot describe how devastated I am at the great master’s passing. His gifts to music and the world are incalculable. My condolences to Panditji’s family, to @zakirhq9 , and to all who loved his beautiful music. #ptshivkumarsharma #indianclassicalmusic #santoor #rip
This makes me very happy. #oaklandgreekfestival # This makes me very happy. 
#oaklandgreekfestival #theyreback #yahoo #greek #oakland #ilovemycity
Load More... Follow on Instagram

Facebook

Subscribe by email:

Archives

Blogroll

  • Life During Wartime – The Trump Years
  • Patricia Dunn – Author
  • Philip Robinson, poet
  • The Outspoken – You're Welcome
  • Uppity Negro Network

Interests

  • Cassini Probe @ Saturn
  • Daily Kos
  • Doctor Who
  • KCSM – Jazz 91
  • Makeup to Go!
  • The Root

Tags

99% african-american AIDS Bay Area bigotry Billy Strayhorn black Black Lives Matter climate change Duke Ellington dystopia dystopian fiction gay growing up gay healthcare history homophobia jazz LGBT LGBTQ literature marriage equality music North Korea novel Oakland police brutality politics queer queerlit queer lit racism rant reading Religion Republicans Romney SATR science fiction Sin Against the Race Trayvon Martin Trump women in jazz writing

Meta

  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org
©2022 the gar spot | Theme by SuperbThemes