Hello, this is Richard Foote-Long again. Now, you little ladies out there scoffed at the sentiments of my last little commentary about the necessity of protecting My Sacred Sperm. You demonstrated your disdain for my beliefs by the way you treated that great soldier of the cause Rush Limbaugh. Mr. Limbaugh finds himself fighting to hold onto advertisers to pay for his fine programming, all because he called a spade a spade in regards to women who refuse to see the value and necessity of protecting My Sacred Sperm. For shame, for shame.
But guess who gets to have the last laugh now? A brave lady, a patriot in the highest degree, a saint of femininity, has come forth to further the cause to protect and defend My Sacred Sperm. That’s right. A member of the fairer sex. Who is this wise woman? I am talking about Arizona State Representative Debbie Lesko, the Majority Whip in the Arizona State House of Representatives. That’s who I’m talking about. This saintly lady has taken it upon herself to write, promote, and advance a bill which will empower employers of proper moral fiber to defend My Sacred Sperm from that vile creation known as The Pill. You may recall from my first commentary, that I labeled the Pill the worst of the worst, the most obscene form of genocide against My Sacred Sperm. Well, Ms. Lesko, a lady, clearly must agree. So I have three words for you scoffing women: Ha, ha, ha.
Ms. Lesko’s law will allow righteous employers to fire women who use the Pill for sexual purposes, in other words as a sperm killer. Women could only use the Pill if they are treating legitimate medical needs. Now I am a simple man and not a doctor, therefore I do not concern myself with those areas of the female anatomy not fit for public discussion. So I cannot imagine any scenario where a woman would need to take the Pill. If medical reasons do exist, however, then so be it. This bill will allow the Pill to be used for such purposes, but not to threaten the work of My Sacred Sperm. In other words, under the terms and conditions of this bill, it is OK for ladies to take the Pill so long as they also take a vow of abstinence. Saintly ladies will always chose abstinence under the right circumstances.
So you see, all the ballyhoo about women’s rights and “birth control” — which we really know is just sperm control — is just a smoke screen for certain women to bully men. Saintly ladies like Ms. Lesko, who adhere to the rule of LAW, know that My Sacred Sperm deserves deference and respect. You women who think otherwise may have won a battle by scaring away Mr. Limbaugh’s advertisers, but you have not won the war.
Ms. Lesko’s bill has passed out of the Senate Judiciary Committee, so it is moving right along. I salute Ms. Lesko and her efforts to protect My Sacred Sperm.
This has been Richard Foote-Long, and please, call me Dick.
© 2012, gar. All rights reserved.